Dera’s relationship was like a love triangle – going back and forth. Guys she loved would not love her back. She would fight hard to hold on to them. After giving her all to keep them, she would end up losing them or they won’t love her back.

But the guys she didn’t like would shower her with plenty love. According to her, this had been her experience since she started dating. Why would love be so unfair to her? Could it be she was the one with the problem?

“I have always wondered why the guys I love don’t love me back, but those guys I don’t love are the ones literally dying to be with me. There was one guy I was with, I put up with him for three months out of pity. He was caring but the more he showed me love and attention I pushed him away. He was not the kind of man I wanted.

“He called me every now and then, but his calls irritated me, same as his touch. Whenever he was around me, I didn’t like it when he touched me; in fact, everything he did irritated me. I didn’t allow him to kiss me. He gave me anything I wanted, all I just had to do was to mention it. He could have brought down the heaven for my sake.

“I would complain bitterly to my friends about everything he did and did not like him, from the way he walked to the way he talked. I didn’t see anything good in what he did. At a point I had to tell him, we should break up instead of giving him false hopes.

“Now, the guy I am dating, I love him very much. He is not rich and hardly gifts me things but I love him all the same. We are from the same tribe. I would use my money to cook for him, and he would come to my house and eat and still eat the other food.

Since we have been dating I have not been to his house, he preferred to come to my house, or we hanged out.

He doesn’t want me to meet any of his family members or friends. When I complained he would tell me I should wait till he rented his own house. That he is squatting with his friend.

“I don’t know his plans for us. All I have done is to make him happy but the more I tried to please him the more difficult it becomes. I am afraid to lose him. I think he knows that I love him and that is why he is careless with me.

“I am really confused, am I the one with a problem?

“Since I started dating like real relationships I have not been fortunate to date somebody I love that love me back. The guys I love and want to be with don’t love me back. In fact, they make me feel as if I am the one chasing after them.”

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